Life

Raising Boys

I am a mom of 2 boys. Two preteen, smelly, obnoxious, farting boys. I have heard the words balls and butt more than I care to count. Boys are gross and hard to raise. More times than not, I feel like I’m doing it all wrong.

For the past 11 years I have been stating “It’s just a phase” for everything my boys do. It’s a phase when they stick peas up their nose. It’s just a phase when they explain what their poop looks like. It’s just a phase when they talk back. It’s a phase when they hit each other and it’s a phase when they don’t listen. When is life not a phase?

Right now we are in the not listening and not giving a F*@& phase. I’m going to lose my mind if this continues. The fighting, the lying, the yelling. Ugh! It’s absolutely exhausting.

We have tried to raise two respectful, caring and loving boys but right now I’m not seeing it. I see, the “you can’t tell me what to do”, “whatever”, “uh, Mom” kids. It’s a constant fight with these two. Homework, chores, showers, be nice to each other, stop hitting each other.

I know there are going to be struggles with raising children but sometimes I feel like my boys are in a league of crazy all of their own.

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Most days I question if I’m a good mom. Am I the one that is causing this? Am I not teaching them correctly? Why do my kids not act like ‘normal’ kids?

When does it become normal or not normal to see a hole in the door or a curtain pulled out of the wall? Eli still eats and spills his drinks like he is a toddler. The dogs sit under his spot at the table and just wait for the food to start dropping. I can ask Ethan to do a task such as set the table. Sometimes he will come back 20 seconds later and ask what was he is supposed to be doing but most of the time he will just start doing something else. I have to repeat all statements at least 3-5 times and my voice grows louder with each time. AHHH. Enough already.

I hate yelling at my kids but I feel like that is all I do. Why do I have to yell at my kids because they just made a bodily function joke at the dinner table for the tenth time? I feel like I yell all the time. I don’t want to yell at my kids, but I do want them to listen and be respectful.

I have tried parenting books, taking advice from friends, allowance and good behavior systems. Nothing seems to work on these two. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have bad kids. I don’t think they are going to knock off a liquor store, but I do think they will spend a lot of time grounded!

They have their moments. They have incredible sweet moments where they hug, love, and want to spend time with each other or us. I just wish I could see more of those moments.

They are respectful and terrific at school. All of their teachers praise us about how well behaved they are. I wish they would bring some of that home with them. I guess we are doing something right if they realize that school is not the place to act like an idiot.

Is this normal? My husband reassures me that he and his brother were doing much worse at this age. Geez, really? At what point do I ignore the behavior and say “hey, they are just boys”? #FRUSTRATED

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2 thoughts on “Raising Boys

  1. This is spot on. I have 2 boys, 14 and 8. I also have a 10 year old daughter. My older one is worse than the younger, but you are right boys are gross. Not sure it’s a phase. I have been telling my daughter – in a light way, that ” boys are stinky, gross and sometimes mean” since forever. Yes, you can raise nice boys, mine too are well received where ever they go as polite and helpful etc. but I think when at home or with lots of others they revert to that behavior. Even my 45 year old husband. Ugh and it rubs off on my daughter with some not very lady like behavior. However, the older I get I’m not sure how much fun it has been having to always act like a lady. 🙂

    1. Hi Laurie, Thank you so much commenting. My husband is also a big kid but I can’t imagine adding a girl in the mix. wow! You know, you’re right, it’s not much fun is it?

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