I’m not ready

I hated school growing up. I especially hated middle school. Middle school is a tough transition year that most of us forget about. It was an awkward and confusing time in my life.  Body changes and hormones, friend’s vs bullies, upper-classman. I think most of us forget that period in our lives once we get older.

Unfortunately, I have been forced to think and relive some of that time now that I have a middle schooler. I had forgotten how horrible and embarrassing school life was.

Ethan has been having his struggles, it’s been a hard transition for him. He has had a hard time adjusting to having 7 classes, 7 folders, 7 homework assignments, etc. Ethan was overwhelmed in the beginning. He was forgetful with assignments and what to bring home in the afternoon. We worked on it together. He was missing homework but after sometime he turned everything in and got his grades back up.

I thought this Quarter would be easier, I thought he had a routine down…wrong. He is now doing all of the work, (for the most part) but now he isn’t turning it in. He states that he left it in his locker or that he just forgot to turn it in. You are putting in the time and effort and not getting rewarded for it. Doesn’t make sense to me, turn it in.

Then comes life… (I’ll get back to the grades in a minute)

He is changing, he is growing up. He’s still a momma’s boy, he loves me, and he still loves to hang out, watch movies, play, and hold my hand.  But it is getting to be limited. I understand.For example, there is a holiday lunch at the school today and Ethan asked me not to come…I understood and I know he wasn’t trying to be mean but I was still heartbroken.

As Most of you know, there is a school dance this Friday. Ethan has had a crush on this one girl since the end of last school year. Well, he decided to ask her to the dance and she said “yes”. I’m happy he had the courage to ask her but I’m torn. He asked if we could drop him off at the school and then come back later…whattttt. My first reaction was to scream HELL NO! But I didn’t, I choked back my tears and I told him that I understood why he was asking and I didn’t mind but I had to talk to Dad first. What is happening? Where is my baby?

So…to merge all of this together, Ethan had made a promise to me to get all of his missing assignments turned in this week. When I picked him up from school yesterday, I asked if he turned in his work. He told me that he had turned in some but didn’t have all of his classes today (they had a run/event for half of the day). I understood and offered to wait while he runs in and turns in his work, he said “no” and we went home. After we got home, we were talking about homework and I asked what he did and didn’t get turned in today, he then got caught in a lie and said “nothing, I didn’t get anything turned in today, I forgot”

I stayed calmed, I reminded him of the promise he made; he shrugged his shoulders, I then said “NO DANCE!” Oh no, what have I done, why did I say that. I want him to go to the dance. In comes Shawn. He asked why I had the look on my face, (the oh no, what have I done look) I calmly told him about Ethan lying and not turning in his homework. Shawn immediately said “NO DANCE”.

Ok, I am extremely happy that Shawn and I were on the same page but I wasn’t happy with the outcome. Skip ahead a few hours, the boys were at baseball. I confided in Shawn that I thought our decision was a mistake.  I hated the feeling I now had in my heart and I was crushed.

I believe it’s a mistake for several reasons, some are selfish reasons.

  • I don’t want him to miss out on this experience, this is his first real crush/girlfriend. As much as I hate he is growing up, I want him to have this moment.
  • The girl will also be upset with the outcome.
  • I saw the pain and embarrassment when we said those two awful words. We crushed him.

I somehow convinced Shawn to give him another shot. Ethan has until today to get all of the work turned in and everything cleaned up…he can go to the dance.

I still don’t know if it’s the right decision to make but we made it together.

Opinions please. Anyone else been through this? What did you do?



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